Thursday, April 30, 2015


I've been reading internet comment sections again.  I know . . . I know.  I've been trying to stop, but it's so hard.

Sometimes in comment sections of stories on autism, you run into a particularly . . . righteous type of individual.

"Your child is a blessing from God," they say.  "Special parents get special children."
"Please stfu, you're being insulting" you say.
 "How could that possibly be insulting?" they reply.  "I just called them a blessing.  My autistic child is a blessing, too.  They're special and so is your child."

And on it goes, until the internet explodes all over their special faces (hopefully).

Don't be this commenter, well intentioned as they may be.

Why is this insulting?  Let me count the ways:
  • You're setting my kid apart from everyone else.  I get that you're trying to do it in a nice way, but he gets enough of that. Let him be himself without calling it out.
  • Autism is part of who my son is, but we try not to let it define him.  He's not a special angel, he's a kid, who does normal kid things most of the time.
  • You're lumping all special needs kids together.  Separately.  Let's try for inclusion.
  • It's patronizing as hell (that's when you talk down to someone).  I stole this from a meme because it is perfect (sorry for the lack of attribution, I have no idea who the source is).
  • Special needs parents don't need pedestals, we need support.  If you call us heroes, you assume super powers.  I'm an ordinary person.  Assume I can tolerate what you could tolerate.
Just a friendly public service announcement.

Also, don't say, "this kid just has asperger's, it's not a big deal."  I will come to your house.  And my kid will teach you a lesson.

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